Allow Me To Introduce Myself
First and foremost, I want to thank you for coming here and taking the time to read the post.
It means a lot to me!
My name is Cara, I am 44 years old, I'm married, a mom of 4 incredible young women, and a serial entrepreneur.
This podcast and business is my passion and my mission.
I feel this in the core of my being...inside my soul.
I have spent a lifetime punishing myself and the people around me because I was stuck in my masculine for years, and now I see a new way and I want to show you that way too...if you're open to it.
How Did I Get This Way?
I grew up in Winnipeg, Manitoba. I was born to parents who were loving parents, but who had not healed from their own pain and therefore, had challenges in parenting my brother and I.
Since I can remember, my parents drank...a lot and often. I don't have many memories of family gatherings, I think they kept our family pretty private to hide the drinking and abuse we experienced as children.
My mother would often drink and consume some type of mind altering medication...eventually she would seek the attention of my father or even us children and begin a series of self-destructive behaviours.
Her go to was to fake attempted suicide. I mean even at 10 years old, I can remember her frequently telling my dad that she was going to kill herself, the ultimate cry for help...knowing what I know now, it absolutely breaks my heart to think of her in so much pain that that was her only way to reach my fathers heart...by pretending to kill herself.
In the beginning, my job, or the one I took on, was that of controller. I controlled the knife drawer when she started to become upset. She would lunge for them in these moods, so eventually we got to a point where we would anticipate the next move and hide the knife drawer on her. We thought if she couldn't find the knives, she couldn't kill herself or us.
It's weird how it all seems to 'normal' when you're in it, I don't remember thinking "this is wrong", I just went into fight or flight mode.
This went on for years, ambulances, police, social workers, you name it, my family saw them.
Eventually, I was apprehended by the city. I was about 16 years old and one day after my dad and I got into a fight, a teacher of mine noticed I wasn't doing so well. I asked to go the washroom and for a reason I will never know, she followed me in. I showed her the mark on my back from where my dad hit me the night before and that was the last time I went home to them.
I still carry guilt about that day...how must have my mom and dad felt not knowing where I was?
There was story going around that I told them that my dad touched me, something I will never forgive the city for making up, my dad smacked me for sure, but he never touched me inappropriately. I felt sad that he thought I said that too.
When I was on my own, I had to grow up pretty fast, I was given the "ok" to live on my own and go to school at the same time. 17 years old and living in the sketchiest parts of Winnipeg.
Eventually, I moved out of there and became a nanny for 4 incredible kids, we are still super close to this day!
At 20, I had gotten pregnant with my common-law-husband Jamie.
At 23, I was married to Ken.
There is a lot in between, but I have to save something for the book lol;).
So, married, 1 kid here and 1 on the way.
And who do you think was wearing the "pants" in my marriage?
Me of course, proudly too.
As some of you know, I have been to many Tony Robbins events over the years. I would say that this was the first in-cling that I had a lot more power than I originally thought. Ken had introduced me to Tony in my early 20's, but I hadn't really gotten into it until probably 10 years ago.
I did some of his courses and watched some videos, but it wasn't until 2017 that I attended my first live event.
My marriage had already ended by then. When I went to my first event, it was for our business that we still operated together. It was an incredible event for sure, but I still hadn't woken up.
My Wake Up Call
It wasn't until this past summer 2019, that I realized something was really off. I had attended a lot of events last year as part of my mission to send 1000 women to UPW. One of my downtimes, I started to wonder why I wasn't meeting any men that I would consider a 'great' catch? Why when I was told that I was attractive, intelligent, successful, kind...on paper, I looked pretty good.
So what was the problem then?
In a word, 'me'.
What the f do you mean me?
So here is how it rolls out.
I was conditioned to be in my masculine. Right from the age of 10. If I wasn't in charge in my home as a child, things would have gone very very wrong. So that energy followed me.
It followed me through relationships, jobs, parenting, and now my marriage.
I got married in my masculine, and married a man in his feminine (for a whole other set of reasons).
I was conditioned to be in my masculine and that is exactly what I was putting out there, day after day, night after night, month after month, and year after year.
So I start this little podcast about it.
How do women business owners balance masculine and feminine energy, but I was still not getting it, at least I wasn't totally getting it.
After another event with Tony, this one called Date With Destiny, my whole world blew right open.
I finally got it...sort of.
I came back from that event in my feminine energy and eventually came back to Ken.
After 3 years of being apart, would found our way back.
So here we are...in lockdown...together:).
Is it perfect, absolutely not.
Are we still learning and trying to be in the energies that make us happiest? 100%.
I tell this story to share the golden nugget of truth in all of this.
When a woman is in her masculine with her partner, she will lose.
It's that simple.
You can be a boss and in your masculine when you are "hunting". Hunting is goal setting and that "get shit done" mentality, it's awesome, never stop, but in your intimate relationships, you cannot be the hunter.
We Must Surrender
You must be the one to surrender. It's really not any more complicated that that.
I did and for me, surrender means asking for help and then letting him actually help rather than telling him how to help.
It means leaning into your Divine Feminine and embracing all that comes with it.
It means letting him rescue you and then showing him your admiration for it, because you know deep down it makes you BOTH happy.
Ladies, this is not a pissing contest, you are not in competition with him and you're certainly not his mother. You are his Queen and he your King and when you start to act accordingly, you will feel stronger, more confident, more balanced, and happier than you have ever felt in your life.
Stay in flow.
ps. If you want to learn some ways my guest have achieved this, I would love to invite you to listen to the podcast here!